Golden Rules of Wealth

If you want to be semi-rich (or at least not poor), follow these golden rules of wealth. Be warned though, not all of them are what you would call politically correct. Take from them what you will.

1. Live at home for as long as you possibly can. I cannot stress this rule enough. If you live at home you save on mortgage/rent, food, utilities, etc… Instead of throwing $1,000+ down the drain each month, accumulate the money for your future. This is also called mooching off your parents and there is an entire generation named after this practice called boomerangers. Of course, this rule assumes you can stand living with your parents, which according to my friends, 99% cannot.
2. Marry alike. As unromantic as it sounds, marriage is not just an emotional and physical union, it is also a financial union. Don’t marry someone that has completely opposing viewpoints on money than you. You’re going to be scrimping on every meal while your spouse goes out and buys a $3,000 purse. You’re going to be pulling your hair out trying to balance the checkbook while your spouse racks up another thousand in credit card debt. Make sure that you both can agree on the value of money and how it will be spent before you tie the knot.
3. Write a prenup. If you’re gonna get married, be sure to write up a prenuptial agreement. This will save you from so many headaches in the future. And it’ll stop your spouse from taking you to the cleaners.
4. Don’t have kids. Let’s be honest, kids are darn expensive these days. If you are one of those micro-managing parents (which I think most people that are reading my blog are) then you will probably send your kids to those elite preschool/kindergarten schools that charge $1,000+ a month. Then as your kid grows up, you need to pay for all the newest clothes, shoes, games so your kid can keep up with the Joneses as you keep on chugging along in that 15 year old beater. The real charm of having a kid comes when they head off for a college that currently costs about $25,000/yr for public or $50,000/yr for private. And if you’re lucky you’ll get a boomerang kid noted in rule #1. All in all, it’s been estimated that one kid can cost around half a million in your lifetime. Think of how many In-n-Out burgers you could have had instead.
5. Don’t get divorced. If you didn’t follow rule #3 then do not ever get a divorce. A divorce will devastate you both emotionally and financially. Tens of thousands of dollars will fly out of your pocket and into your lawyer’s and neither you nor your spouse will be any better off for it. Not to mention the after effects of alimony and child support which will be garnished from your wages. Try being a millionaire when half your wages will go to support an ex-wife that hates you and kids that don’t know you.

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