My First Cynic
I met my first cynic this week: My father.
It’s funny now that I think about it, I’ve told quite a bit of my friends and co-workers about my plan to retire by the time I am 35 and surprisingly, basically all of them have been supportive about it (or at least not try to discourage or make me feel guilty about it). I have read various blog posts from people also marching to the same drummer as me and they touched upon the subject of dealing with cynics and guilt-trippers. But this is the first time I have ever stumbled into this phenomenon. It is the first time someone actively told me it is a bad idea and discouraged me from going down this path.
So what was his premise? Basically it all started when I asked my father if he liked the job that he has been working for the past twenty some years. He told me he liked it. He then continued to tell me that you can like any job that you work as long as you have the right mindset. I was skeptical at this suggestion and bought up the examples of miners and field-pickers. I wanted to also say prostitutes as an example, but it didn’t seem like proper family discussion. He persisted in saying that it is still about the attitude and that you can like your job as long as you have the right mindset. At this point I interjected that what he seemed to be saying is to settle for mediocrity, basically accept your lot in life and not strive for any better. I believe that if you adapt the attitude that you should always like your job then you won’t ever take any action, even if deep down you are actually dying a little everyday. Only when you truly dislike your circumstances will you actually take any action for change and have real growth. My father still said no, you should just work hard at your job and try to enjoy it. Apparently the last twenty years of the self-improvement industry has been for naught. Anyways, in regards to job fulfillment, I was already butting heads with him.
A few days later I told him that I had a early retirement plan. Of course next came the question of when. So I told him I wanted to retire by 35 (just to let you know, I had long ago already told my mother and she was semi-supportive, just worried if I could make my money last that long). My father immediately told me that was crazy and a very bad idea. I told him my justifications of doing so: I value my time more than money; I plan on living way below my means in a minimized lifestyle when I retire; I have saved up quite a nut and will continue to do so; I have already created goals, budgets, and projections for the future so I know I can do it. I even told him that I don’t plan on just wasting my time away when I gain financial independence, I would instead go do something meaningful with my life like help various non-profits, join the Peace Corps, travel to other countries, and learn new skills I don’t have the time to do currently. And it doesn’t mean I won’t use the skills I have learned so far, I might do some consulting on the side or brainstorm new ideas/businesses. Retirement for me means I can finally quit my job and go do my own thing, on my own terms, with the freedom I desire. It means I can finally leave the rat race and not have money rule my life.
But my father couldn’t see that. He couldn’t see the forest for the trees. He could only see the possibility of failure. He couldn’t see the opportunities or the freedom it promised. He couldn’t grasp that I have actually structured my life around attaining this goal: I am saving as much as possible while still enjoying my life right now; I am consuming books about investing, finance, and accounting so I will be more knowledgable in the future; I have already projected how I will live in the future so it can be sustainable. Even so, all my father wanted to talk to me about were the dangers of not having a full-time job. He said I should keep the job for as long as I could. If I wanted to do other things then just do it during the weekends. He said catastrophies could strike at any time and so it is of absolute importance to maintain a steady paycheck. He basically said it was impossible to survive without a job on your back. Not even if you have set up multiple streams of income to displace that job. No matter what I said, I couldn’t convince him that I could do it.
In the end we just came to a stalemate. I believe nothing is impossible and he thought nothing was possible without that white collar around your neck. It is disappointing that one of the most important people in my life can’t share the excitement I have about my future, but I am still glad I was able to have this talk with my father and understand how he feels. Even so, I still need to persist in attaining my goals and living out my dreams because nobody else will walk in my shoes or experience my life but myself.
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Regardless of his cynicism and your ultimate outcome when you hit 35, it’s a good thing to save enough more to “retire” at 35. Everyone should try to do that. It sounds like you’re not really going to retire… if you’re going to the Peace Corps then you’ll have free housing and food and healthcare… so really you could retire now and just do that the rest of your life if that’s what is meaningful to you.
I think retirement means different things to different people. I don’t want the typical old-age retirement of sitting in a rocking chair all day long looking out into the sunset. Actually I might do that, but it would probably get really old really fast — maybe bored out of my mind within a month. So I know I need something more after that, something to keep me motivated, energized, and fulfilled. It can be anything from joining the Peace Corp or travelling to countries with a lower standard of living or even just learning new skills. You are right, I could do that now, but I want to save up a sizeable nut while I am still young so I don’t need to worry about money in the future. That way I can pick up and go do whatever whenever I want and not be kept on a tight leash due to monetary concerns.